Creating your own rules for overthinking. It can go one of two ways – create your rules to be your worst or create your rules to do and be what’s best. I’ll be honest here, I sometimes overthink. True story. Sometimes I take a situation and think something is there , that is not. It can rule your life. You will lose friends. You will make yourself miserable. You will make others miserable. It is not a healthy way to live. We all know it and most of the time – we think (overthink) that it is not us. It’s them. Well…maybe not. Here are some ways overthinkers live their life.
- Second guess everything.
- Can’t let things go. (ahem…this hit close to home)
- Put thoughts in someone else’s head. Meaning, you are thinking you know what they are thinking.
- You believe every situation is something it is not.
- Take things personal when they are not.
- Question motives.
- Strive for perfectionism.
- Expect the worst.
- Never feel certain about anything.
- Fear change.
- Dwell on the past.
- People pleaser.
To name a few!
These are not the only rules but it is a great place to start. How many of you can identify? I certainly can. Let’s be real. It is overwhelming, tiring, and downright aggravating to be an overthinker. It makes it difficult to enjoy your life. You constantly think about situations in ways that are not real. They are not happening. And…if they are, so what? Let’s talk about that. So what? What is the worst thing that could happen? I love this question. It is something I have been asking myself a lot lately. What is the worst thing that could happen if someone does not like me? What is the worst thing that could happen if someone gossiped about me? What is the worst thing that could happen if someone did something to me and I let it hurt me? Really, what is the worst thing? Don’t you have control over this part? Don’t you get to decide that if the worst thing does happen, how am I going to react? What’s my response?
- JUST DO IT!! Don’t second guess. Make decision and just stinking do it. I’m not going to lie – this one is hard for me. It can be scary but again, what is the worst thing that could happen? Will you recover? I think you will.
- Let it go, let it go. Yes, I’m singing the song in my head. Let it go!!!! We all struggle with this. I certainly do. Your past does not need to define who you are now in a negative way. Move on people.
- Stop assuming someone is saying or thinking what you are thinking they are saying or thinking. Did you get that? Let me say it again. Stop putting thoughts in someone else’s head. Stop putting words in someone else’s mouth. You have no idea what they are thinking – you are making assumptions. If you did hear them say something, were they actually saying what you thought they were? Be real here.
- Stop taking things personal. NEWS FLASH!! Everyone in the world is not out to get you. Something I always say: no one is thinking of you right now, you are not that important. Really. People are not spending their valuable time thinking of ways they can make their life miserable. You are managing that all on your own. You are the only person that can make you miserable. Stop taking everything personal. That chip on your shoulder, take it off and smash it. The only person miserable when you take things personal – YOU! Yep, no one else cares. Only YOU!
- Stop expecting the worst. Why not expect the best? If you think about it, expecting the best as opposed to the worst, is much more enjoyable and let’s face it, less stressful. Stop being a Debbie Downer. No one likes her.
- Change can be positive. It can be. I am used to change because as a child, we moved around a lot and so maybe I have 1 up on everyone. But..change will not kill. It really won’t. Change can be a very positive addition to your life. Do not be so rigid that you cannot change. This is not a concept I grasp. I love change. To me, it is exciting. New adventures. But, sometimes change hurts too. It may mean you will have to make some tough decisions. It’s ok. Make the right decisions despite the results. You can do it. Remember the question we asked earlier – what is the worst thing that could happen? Or maybe we should ask, what is the best thing that could happen? I like that question better.
- Make a decision. Make it even if you are uncertain. Just make it. I hate to be a broken record, but what is the worst thing that could happen or better, what is the best thing that could happen?
- Being my best is better than perfectionism. There is no way on earth any of us are going to be perfect. Not going to happen. However, we can certainly be our best. We can do and give our best at everything we do.
- It is not my job to please people. Someone else’s expectations of who I should be is not my problem. Someone else’s expectations of how I should act is not my problem. It is my problem to expect my best because of me. It is my problem to act properly because I want to be better. I want to do well. You will never be able to please people, so don’t. Let’s face it, some people can’t be pleased.
- Enjoy your life. Seriously. Even if it is boring, enjoy it. Enjoy the hard parts (much more enjoyable after getting through them, right?). Those hard days will pass. They always do. They trials of life might be in front of you, but eventually you will walk through it and then skip right past it.
I hope this was helpful. It certainly was helpful to me as I wrote it. It is blunt, yes, but it is was tremendous help to me. You may disagree, but what did I say above? It is none of my business what you think of me? Right! I need to remember that one.
Breathe. Live a Latte.