Hello, my beautiful coffee lovers! Today in our Coffee Chat we are going to talk about a subject that sometimes brings out the worst in me. What is this subject you ask? It is the lack of RSVP!
- RSVP at one time (50 years ago) was never used. It was considered rude to use it. Why? It would mean the host/hostess did not trust her invitees to let him/her know they will be attending. It would have been a big no, no! It was a given that each invitee would automatically respond with their attendance of yes or no.
- How quickly should you respond? According to etiquette experts, one should always respond within 24 hours. Yes, you heard it, 24 hours! Why so quickly? You are letting your host know you are excited to be attending. Just think of the joy it would bring him or her to hear one of their invitees can not wait to attend their party or event. It makes me feel good when I receive an RSVP so quickly.
- Our lack of etiquette has taken a downhill slide. The reason RSVP is not used was due to rudeness. The invitees chose not to respond for whatever reason. And…today…we have to actually have a RSVP by (date). Again, due to lack of response. What happened to the days of thinking of others and taking 1 minute to do a kind thing and have some general etiquette? I am talking to myself. I have not been a good responder! I’ve taken more than 24 hours. The reason I write my posts is for my benefit more than yours. So, let’s move on.
- What if I don’t know my schedule and availability. You should still contact the host and explain your situation and ask if ti would be difficult for them if you responded once you knew your schedule. Explain to your hostess the situation unless it is something personal you prefer not to share.
- So you ask, what if I don’t want to RSVP because the host will beg me to come and then I’ll feel obligated to go. Yes, we have all been here. Please do not ever be that host/hostess who begs. It is not becoming. I believe it would be acceptable to RSVP by email and thank the host for inviting you but you will have to kindly decline the invitation with regret. Then you will not have to deal with an awkward phone call.
- Should you contact people who do not RSVP? Absolutely. Know exactly what you will say and just kindly ask them if they are going to be able to attend.
- Side note: DO NOT ask why your friend cannot attend. It may be personal and she may feel uncomfortable sharing it with you. Just leave it at no and you will miss her but understand.
- Are there any exceptions? To me, NO. There is none.
- Why should you RSVP? It is rude not to. It is disrespectful. Your host or hostess has taken the time to send an invitation specifically to YOU. Do not be that person.
We all fail but always do your very best to respond. Do not set it aside when you receive the invitation. Respond immediately. Remember – 24 hours, 24 hours, 24 hours. We can do this. Let’s better ourselves by having good manners not for others, but for ourselves. Others WILL benefit but we benefit even more.
What is your etiquette pet peeve? Share it below in the comments. I would love to hear all about it!!
Be the exception!